So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
