Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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