the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
