I want you more than these girls want KFC
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
