yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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