he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
