I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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