Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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