I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
