no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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