He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
