Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
