I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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