Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
