I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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