If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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