Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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