I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
