We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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