i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
