High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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