elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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