arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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