he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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