we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
