even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
