you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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