I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
