idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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