There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
