Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
