it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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