Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
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Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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