your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
