Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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