I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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