Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
