never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
