Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
