East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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