I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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