i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
