i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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