My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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