The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize