I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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