dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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