so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
