you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
