nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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