k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
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I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
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So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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