I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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