everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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