i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
