He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
