I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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