CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
