you turned your livingroom into a bong?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
