I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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