i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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