yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
